The truth ? -Everyone’s experienced performance anxiety at some point - including women. At the end of the day, sex - since it involves being naked, physical and very, very vulnerable in front of another person, especially a person you’re attracted to - can be a bit intimidating, and more people than not sometimes stress about how they stack up in bed.
Sex is supposed to be fun, but it’s hard to relax and enjoy it when you’re too busy worrying about how you look or what she thinks about you to just be in the moment. And unfortunately, worrying about your sexual performance can create a nasty cycle: Stress can block blood flow to the penis, marking it harder to get and stay hard, which in turn increases anxiety about performance…
If you find yourself freaking out when you’re about to get freaky, your best bet is to switch to a little foreplay. Go down on her or finger her for until you feel more relaxed, ands let her audible pleasure give you the confidence you need to get back in the saddle.
Ease your anxieties by arming yourself with the best information to improve your sex life.
Sexis supposed to be a pleasurable experience, but it's hard to feel sexy or intimate with your partner when you havesexual performance anxiety. When you're constantly wondering,
- Am I doing this right?
- Is my partner enjoying this?
- Do I look fat?
- you become too preoccupied to enjoy
Constant worry over your appearance or ability in bed can make sex stressful and nerve-wracking. It can even make you want to avoid having sex.
Sex is more than just a physical response. Arousal is tied into your emotions, too. When your mind is too stressed out to focus on sex, your body can't get excited either.
In this article, you'll learn what causes sexual performance anxiety and discover treatments that will help reignite your sex life.
Causes of Sexual Performance Anxiety
Many different kinds of worries can lead to sexual performance anxiety, including:
- Fear that you won't perform well in bed and satisfy your partner sexually
- Poorbody image, including concern over yourweight
- Difficulties in your relationship
- A man’s worry that hispeniswon't 'measure up'
- A man’s concern about ejaculating prematurely or taking too long to reach orgasm
- A woman’sanxietyabout not being able to have an orgasm or enjoy the sexual experience.
These anxieties cause your body to launch a response called “fight or flight.” Stress hormones likeepinephrineand norepinephrine are released in a series of reactions that were actually designed to prepare your body to run or confront a threat. Of course, your partner isn't a threat, which is why this response is so counterproductive to intimacy.
Symptoms of Sexual Performance Anxiety
Your state of mind can have a big impact on your ability to get aroused. Even if you're with someone who you find sexually appealing,worrying about whether you'll be able to please your partner can make it impossible for you to do just that.
In men, one of the effects of the stress hormones is to constrictblood vessels. Lessbloodflowing into thepenismakes it more difficult to have an erection. Even men who normally don't have any trouble getting excited can become unable to get an erection when they're overcome by sexual performance anxiety.
Overcoming Sexual Performance Anxiety
If you've got sexual performance anxiety, see a doctor -- someone with whom you feel comfortable discussing your sex life. The doctor can examine you and do some tests to make sure a health condition or medication isn't causing your sexual performance issues. During the exam the doctor will ask about your sexual history to find out how long you've had sexual performance anxiety and what kinds of thoughts are interfering with your sex life.
Medications and other therapies can help treat erectile dysfunction and other sexual problems that are due to physical causes. If a medical issue isn't to blame, your doctor might suggest trying one of these approaches:
Talk to a therapist. Make an appointment with a counselor or therapist who is experienced in treating sexual problems. Therapy can teach you to become more comfortable with your own sexuality, and it can help you understand -- and then reduce or eliminate -- the issues that are causing your sexual performance anxiety. Men who are worried about premature ejaculation, for example, can try some techniques that help them gain more control over ejaculation.
Be open with your partner. Talking with your partner about your anxiety can help ease some of your worries. Trying to reach a solution together might actually bring you closer as a couple and improve your sexual relationship.
Get intimate in other ways.There are many ways to be intimate without actually having sex. Give your partner a sensualmassageor take a warm bath together. Take turns pleasing each other with masturbationso you don't always have to feel pressured to perform sexually.
Exercise.Not only willworking outmake you feel better about your body, but it will also improve your stamina in bed.
Distract yourself.Try putting on some romantic music or a sexy movie while you make love. Think about something that turns you on. Taking your mind off of your sexual performance can remove the worries that are stopping you from getting excited.
Finally, take it easy on yourself. Don't beat yourself up about your appearance or ability in bed. Get help for sexual performance anxiety so you can get back to having a healthy and enjoyable sex life.